Coaching for Balancing Humility and Assertiveness in Leadership Roles
In today's complex business environment, effective leadership requires a delicate balance of seemingly opposing forces. Among these, the interplay between humility and assertiveness stands out as particularly crucial for success.
Understanding this balance is essential because it shapes how leaders influence their teams, make decisions, and drive organizational change:
| Strengths of Humility | Strengths of Balancing Humility and Assertiveness | Strengths of Assertiveness |
|---|---|---|
| Rapport Building | Increased Influence | Confidence in Decision Making |
| Ability to Make Teams Feel Heard | Increased Trust | Ability to Get Things Done |
| Ability to Ask for Input | Increased Unity | Stronger Communications |
| Ability to Listen | Bridging Organizational Change | Confidence in One’s Own Abilities |
“In Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap…and Others Don’t, management consultant and writer Jim Collins identified several companies that have made a transition from good to great, and how each company sustained these changes after the leader left. When examining the leaders of these companies, Collins found that the CEOs had a unique mix of drive and humility.”
A Coaching Case Study
To align with the ethics of professional coaching, fictitious names are used so that safety, privacy, and confidentiality are fully respected.
Two concurrent and independent coaching clients identified opportunities to manage their humility more effectively to prepare for next level leadership roles. Ironically, one leader was over-using humility while the other was under-using humility, both to a detriment.
The Journey from Assertiveness to Strategic Humility
Robert was a top performer managing a team of professionals in a highly intense, publicly traded environment. Demands on his team and the broader divisional team included the responsibility to manage risks that could potentially compromise the organization.
The division experienced a leadership change accompanied by a culture change. The new division leader wanted the “lieutenants” to work more cohesively together as peers and dispel any divisiveness among them.
Several measures were taken to accomplish this goal, including professional coaching offered to Robert as an additional investment in his leadership development, which he accepted with appreciation.
Through the coaching process, Robert developed a new awareness of the benefits of repositioning himself as supporting the success of his peers rather than competing with them.
Over the next year, peers began to comment on Robert’s remarkable transformation. Even Robert, himself, was really pleased with the changes in relationships he had worked diligently to improve. Teammates were quick to express Robert’s display of increased humility and putting others first as the single most important pivotal characteristic that enabled this change in relationships, which cascaded through the division.
Upon retirement of Robert’s immediate leader, Robert was interviewed among several candidates and was promoted to the next level role.
Robert now reports to the division leader, who has repeatedly affirmed the impact of coaching on his transformation and thus, the selection of him as successor to his former leader.
The Power of Balanced Assertiveness
“Brock” was a high performing team leader within a newly emerging and rapidly growing company. As with so many, COVID had a major impact in ways unique to everyone - especially extroverts, such as Brock. Growing up in a small town with a large family, Brock was blessed with “community”. His need for connectedness was heavily challenged by the work-from-home environment and being located several hundred miles away from company headquarters.
Brock had performed well, while informally positioning himself as a team lead but extremely careful not to overstep the boundaries of his role. He wondered if anyone up the chain was noticing his work and if he would ever have a shot at next-level leadership.
Times got rough for the company which had been funded with two rounds of venture capital. One day, associates were shocked to hear that the company was slashing headcount by 50%. Brock was left standing. In fact, Brock was invited to company headquarters to present the work of his team.
He worked diligently on increasing his assertiveness and how best to communicate authoritatively as the subject matter expert he had become. Through coaching, he became aware of the importance of balance between humility and assertiveness. He effectively “leaned in” with a greater degree of self-confidence and was ultimately promoted to next level leadership.
But there was still work to do. While he had rightfully earned the promotion, he continued to feel
hesitantly “outside the tent”. Through coaching, he developed a greater awareness of the magnitude of endorsement that the promotion represented, which enabled him to step into a more convincing persona in meetings and communications with key leaders.
Through coaching, he was able to reposition the balance between humility and assertiveness that paid off for both him and the company.
Practical Applications: Finding Your Balance
Self-Assessment Questions
In team meetings, do you tend to speak first or wait to hear others?
How comfortable are you challenging upper management's ideas?
When was the last time you publicly credited someone else for a success?
Do you find it easier to be decisive or collaborative?
Action Steps for Leaders
If You Lean Toward Assertiveness:
Practice active listening without immediately offering solutions
Regularly solicit team feedback on your leadership style
Create structured opportunities for team input
Acknowledge areas of uncertainty or learning
If You Lean Toward Excessive Humility:
Document your achievements and contributions
Prepare and practice speaking with authority
Set goals for sharing your expertise in meetings
Build a framework for confident decision-making
